The Lion, The Gazelle And The Managing Director

I was working at my desk. Bob came next to me and whispered to me my new password. I asked him why he was speaking in a low voice and he told me that he didn’t want Jeremy to hear my password. Then he unfolded a piece of paper. On the paper were written two different addresses. One was an address of some remote place in England while the other one was of a place in Charlotte Street, New York. Bob told me that I had to go to one of the two destinations as part of my job and that he was to decide where to send me. My mind was screaming “NEW YORK, NEW YORK”. He chose England.

…

I found myself at my previous job. I was visiting one of my notorious ex-clients - a hot-tempered, loud managing director with the manners of a baboon. He owns a famous Maltese company that imports food stuffs. I was having a shower in the middle of his office. The closed shower cubicle had three opaque panels with wooden frames. My girlfriend was just outside the shower. She was holding the shampoo for me. The shampoo was actually cheap hand wash (blue). I was commenting to my girlfriend on how the hand wash could damage my scalp.

My friend Adrian was there. He was talking to the director and he was trying to buy a car from him. They were standing in the same office just outside my shower cubicle. In the background I could listen to Adrian talking to the director about what kind of car he wanted. Adrian was telling him that he wanted a car similar to the one he already owns, an Opel Astra. The director exclaimed with much drama, as he would, that Opel Astras aren’t good cars and that their gearboxes are shite. He then came up to my cubicle and asked me to confirm this. “What a cunt!” I said to myself.

…

I found myself on an outdoor film set. Rumours were running around amongst the crew that there was a homeless man on the set with no fingers on one hand who could train small animals like cats, birds and mice. I was wandering around aimlessly until I came to an open place in which there were a number of benches arranged after each other (just like in a church). Some extras were sitting on these benches. Behind the last bench was the homeless man. He looked old and dirty. He was wearing a long and ragged coat. Small birds were flying around him and other small animals like mice, badgers and snakes were going in and out of his pockets and sleeves.

At the side of this open area was footballer-turned-actor Vinnie Jones. He was sitting down on a chair and he had a grumpy look on his face. The homeless man approached Vinnie Jones and asked him if he wanted to play with some of his pets. Vinnie Jones accepted his offer. The homeless man raised his arms in front of him. Two kittens emerged from out of the homeless man’s collar and ran on his arms onto Vinnie Jones’ hands.

People gathered around, watching Vinnie Jones as he played with these two kittens. Suddenly, the kittens turned into lions. A gazelle emerged from nowhere in between Vinnie Jones’s legs. The lions pinned the gazelle down and held her there. The crowd was astonished by the scene – Vinnie Jones sitting down, a restless gazelle in front of him between his legs and a lion on each side holding the gazelle down. Vinnie Jones tried to get up but he couldn’t because of this trio of wild animals.

A third, bigger lion appeared in front of Vinnie Jones. This was the leader of the pack. The other two lions were holding the gazelle down so that the lion king could eat her. The lion king moved calmly towards the gazelle and stood in front of her. He then placed his mouth just in front of the gazelle’s mouth and started brushing his mouth against hers. The gazelle was terrified. She was doing to her best to try to escape but the other two lions were doing a very good job of holding her down. Then the lion king opened his mouth and enclosed the gazelle’s mouth within his. I was a bit puzzled as to why the lion was doing this but then it struck me that the lion was only prolonging the time before taking a bite of the gazelle’s head. The lion king was torturing the gazelle with mind games before devouring her. “What an evil, ruthless creature!” I thought.

I was waiting for the ugly moment at which the lion king would snap his mouth shut over the gazelle’s mouth, when the lion moved his head back. He then moved his head forward again and once again began brushing his mouth against the gazelle’s. I suddenly realized what was really happening. The lion was actually kissing the gazelle! He was physically attracted to the gazelle and was developing lustful feelings and, I daresay, love for the gazelle!! The lion moved back and started shaking his head in distress. The other two lions were still holding the gazelle down as their king stood in front of the gazelle, torn between his carnivorous instinctive desire to eat the gazelle and his newly-developed feelings of love and lust towards the same animal. Everyone was amazed at this spectacle. That is, everyone except for Vinnie Jones who couldn’t move in between the two lions and was getting seriously pissed off with the whole thing.

Then the unthinkable happened. The gazelle lunged forwards and kissed the lion several times. The gazelle too had developed feelings for the lion! As the gazelle kissed the lion I could hear music in the background – the kind of overboard strings piece you’d hear at the climax of a movie of some soppy love story. By now all eyes were transfixed on the two animals. Suddenly the gazelle freed itself from the other two lions’ clutches and went dashing off at lightening speed behind the benches and through a gate at the other side of the open space. The gate led to “another world”, a Narnia-esque landscape full of snowy mountains. As the gazelle's figure vanished into the distance I heard the powerful roar of the lion king, a roar full of love, sadness, lust and anger. The lion then ran through the gate after the gazelle into this “other world”. One could sense that this was only the beginning ...

the end

Dreamt on the night of 18.02.2006

The night before:
Food: Vegetable soup and baked rice.
Drink: Red wine.