My Son

I saw my son on TV. He was a well-groomed, 40-year-old man with brown eyes, good skin and a big head of grey hair. He was on some kind of talk show and looked very confident in his manner of speaking. The sound wasn't on so I couldn't hear what he was saying.

I then woke up in the seat of a car, alone. It was just a dream. I had lost a tooth but the tooth was my child's tooth. I went to speak to the dentist who assured me that it was normal for kids to lose their first set of teeth. "I second tooth will grow and it will be stronger than the first", he said.

the end

Dreamt on the night of 06.08.2012

The night before:
Food: Chicken wrap
Drink: Non-alcoholic ginger beer

The Human Fountain

A woman's body with no legs or arms. A grotesque human trunk. Hanging in the air by two ropes. Eyes wide open. A jet of water sprouting from her mouth that is in the shape of an "0".

the end

Dreamt on the night of 12.09.2011

The night before:
Food: Calamari and octopus.
Drink: Gavi.

Chris & Clare's New Place

This night I dreamt that Chris and Clare bought a huge luxury house in Edinburgh. As I walked in through the front door there was a big double staircase (in yellow and grey) leading to three big rooms upstairs. One of the rooms was full of aquariums containing all sorts of exotic fish. The lights in this room were dim but the aquariums were all lit up ... it was like being in a zoo. The house also came with its own "in-house" bishop (complete with hat, robes and holy staff) with his own living quarters - his room was full of neon light. The third room was a fancy kitchen full of retro 60s furnishings. The house also had a secret lift that took you down to the double bedroom in London. I stepped in the lift and free-falled down to London in five minutes. I stepped out of the lift and in the double bedroom where Chris was.

The double bedroom was actually a dingy club in central London where The Areola Treat had played some months back. The room was very messy and it was surrounded by chicken wire (it reminded me of the place where the fight scene from West Side Story takes place:





There was a double mattress on the floor on which Chris lay. People were coming in the bedroom/club. I asked Chris why such an unconventional choice for the bedroom. He said, "Jogħġobni hawn hu għax kellna gig tajjeb." I said, "Chris, ejja nitilgħu l'fuq man għax hemm ħafna isbaħ." He looked around and said, "OK imma rrid nistenna lil kullħadd jitlaq ħalli ngħalaq warajhom". The place was now full of "dancing" teenage goths. I looked at Chris and said "Din ma tantx ħsibta seww Chris! Issa kull darba li tridu titilgħu l'fuq tridu toqgħodu tistennew in-nies jitilqgħu". Chris shrugged his shoulders and said "U ija ... mhux xorta!"

the end

Dreamt on the night of 30.01.2009

The night before:
Food: Poached fish with couscous & veg.
Drink: Beer.

The Malta Jazz Festival

I was at the new, revamped Malta “Jazz” Festival organized by NnG promotions. The stage looked much bigger then usual but the crowd was smaller. On stage was a Maltese ten-piece act. Seven of the musicians were arranged in a semi-circle while the other three where in the middle of this human semi-circle. They were all dressed up in long flowing garments of various colours (think The Darkness).

They were playing a song reminiscent of an eighties power ballad. The whole thing was a big farce. One of the band members was a resident musician at BJs – a short, funny-looking guy who regularly performed Dire Strait covers at BJs as a pianist guitarist vocalist combo.

I was watching this band, feeling both horrified and amazed at how low the Malta Jazz Festival had stooped. I caught sight of Ivan Filletti in the crowd who was one of the organizers of this festival (in my dream he was anyway). Ivan turned his head and saw me looking at him. He gave me a big, white smile and came walking in my direction.

He came next to me and said: “Eeeeeehhh ara fejnu! Inti mhux dak li kien qed igerger fuq il-jazz festival? X’taħseb issa eh?! X’jidhirlek?” I then engaged him on a lengthy rant on how crap the Malta Jazz Festival had become. I also turned his attention to the dwindling crowd to which he replied “Ooooh imma dak għax inti wasalt tard! Taf kemm kien hawn nies qabel!?!”

the end

Dreamt on the night of 16.03.2006

The night before:
Food: Meat feast pizza
Drink: Water

My Brother's Radio Show

My brother got a job as a radio DJ. He was to broadcast his show from a control room at the top of a high tower in Edinburgh. I met up with my brother just before his first show. I was very excited about his new job unlike him, who was very nonchalant about it and appeared to be far less enthusiastic than I was about the whole thing. I was surprised by how calm he was considering it was the first time he was hosting a radio show.

Inevitably, I began playing the annoying role of the “bigger, wiser brother” by giving him lessons on how one should speak on the radio. I started bragging on how I knew all the rules of the game since I had spoken on radio a couple of times before (which is partly true - though I must set the record straight here and say that they only amounted to a couple of interviews with my previous band in which I only mumbled a total of two or three incomprehensible words). I asked my brother if he had prepared anything for the show to which he replied that I needn’t worry since he had everything under control.

We climbed up to the control room at the top of the tower. The first thing that struck me on entering the room were these enormous glass walls so that we were treated to a 360 degrees panoramic view of Edinburgh. And what a breath-taking view it was! Edinburgh was covered in snow. The control room was quite far from the city centre but one could still make out the famous castle surrounded by the white, slanting rooftops. Behind the city stood some mountains which added a touch of drama to the whole scene.

There was a huge table in the middle of the room on which there was a device that could play seven CDs simultaneously. The machine was actually seven standalone CD players attached to a central controller of some sort. I looked at the time and realized that my brother was already running late – his show had been scheduled to start a few minutes earlier. I started panicking and urging my brother to get started. He told me to take it easy as he calmly put on a record after muttering something into the microphone.

At some point during the show, he picked up all the equipment on the table and took it home with him so that he could broadcast the show from his room (“biex inkun relax”). I followed him. We arrived home in Mġarr, Malta. It was a typical summer's day in Malta bursting with sunlight. When we arrived home my brother went up on the roof and laid down the equipment on the floor in the sun. The radio equipment was still transmitting the live show. He then left the equipment buzzing on the floor and went down to the kitchen to raid the fridge and prepare himself a snack.

Meanwhile, as I was monitoring the equipment on the roof and listening to the show, I noticed that the song being played was nearing its end. My brother had to change the song but he was still stuffing his face in the kitchen. I shouted a warning to him to let him know that the song was about to finish and that he should leave the kitchen and come upstairs right away to prepare the next song. He told me to cool it down because he had everything under control.

the end

Dreamt on the night of 16.03.2006

The night before:
Food: Penne with fennel, peppers, chilli and tomatoes
Drink: Tea

The German Doctor

I had a new voice message on my mobile phone. It was the doctor from Berlin, he had finally come back to me after I had sent him the photos and scans of my body some days before. The voice message said “Please get back to me immediately. I have something very important to tell you. You are going to die very soon.”

I freaked out.

My mind was assaulted with a thousand different thoughts. What would I to do? No one can fight death! I was screwed!! Who would I break the news to first? All the studying, working, planning … all for nothing?? Is this it?!? Fuck fuck fuck!! I felt like I was losing my mind. My head felt heavy.

I tried to get a grip on myself. I decided to call up the German doctor for an explanation. I dialled his number and waited for what seemed like an eternity until the doctor picked up the phone. “Oh hello it’s you hehee!” he said in his annoying German accent. “Don’t vorry about the message ya?, I vas lying. You are not going to die. I lied so that I keep you on edge ya? so that you call me up immediately! hehehee” I breathed a sigh of relief and my head felt lighter.

He continued: “However I do have something very important to tell you. Come to Berlin at once so that ve can talk." He started giving me directions for his house. I took out a map of Berlin and tried to find his house on the map … which I did. It was in a square in the east side of the city. The square contained some gardens and in the middle of the gardens stood a monument very much similar to Nelson’s column in London.

I decided to fly to Berlin that very day to meet up with the doctor. This meant skipping the classes for Mathematical Methods III (given by my former fifth form Math teacher whose name I can’t remember). I bought a plane ticket to Berlin for 260 EUR.

I went to my hotel (to pack my bags?). It was a posh five-star hotel but once I stepped inside through the main entrance the words “lack of taste” immediately sprang into mind. The décor was a kitsch monstrosity from the 80s on the theme of mint, gold and pearl. The lobby was very spacious with no ceiling so that if you looked above you could see the hotel’s roof way up high. The lobby’s perimeter was in the shape of a moon. Right in the middle of this crescent was the lift. There were also four identical narrow ladders, two on each side of the lift, hanging from the very top floor of the hotel. Thus one had the option of either using the lift or the ladders.

The ladders were made up of two thick ropes joined together by wooden rungs. Each rung had four faces. On the front side of each rung there was the word “NODE” written in big black bold font while on the top side there were the words “THIS IS NOT A NODE” in the same font. I then realised that the ladders were actually an art exhibition with a pro-abortion message. In fact the whole hotel was run on a pro-abortionist policy (whatever that means). The rungs on the ladder alluded to the fact that something can or cannot be a node depending on your perspective (I still haven’t worked out what relevance that might have to the moral issues concerning the topic of abortion but in my dream I knew that the whole thing was a pro-abortion exhibition).

My room was on the second floor so I reckoned that I could use one of the ladders. I started to climb up one of the ladders but it proved to be much more difficult than I had expected. As I was climbing up past the first floor, the ladder snapped and I fell on the first floor. As I was getting up I saw my parents driving up to the first floor (there was a car passageway as well) in their Peugeot 309. They asked me if I was OK and I said that I was fine. My parents had done medical checkups as well. They had the results but I didn’t know what they were. They didn’t seem very cheerful and the air was heavy with melancholy.

the end

Dreamt on the night of 05.03.2006

The night before:
Food: Spring rolls, pork dumplings & vegetable noodles.
Drink: Shiraz

My Friend's Wedding

I was at Adrian and Elaine’s wedding. All the guests were in the street as the bride and groom were getting into the car. There was a lot of noise since most of the guests were laughing and talking aloud. I, like most of the other guests at the wedding, was pretty drunk. I was holding a “kopp tal-offerti” – a small red velvet sack hanging at the end of a wooden stick. This was the same one used by the local vicar to collect donations from the people attending mass at the church of Mġarr.

I was staggering around with this sack asking people to donate money. Some of them played along with my stupid game by donating a few cents. As I was going around the guests collecting their donations I was singing the church hymn that is usually sung at the end of mass at the church of Mġarr. I believe that the hymn is called “Infaħħru lil Marija” (Praise Be To Mary) and the lyrics go something like this:


"Infaħħru lil Marija,
Omm t'Alla u tal-bnedmin.
Ngħannulha l-isbaħ għanja,
Bil-ferħ ta' qlub safjin.

Marija omm ħanina
Minn qalbna nitolbuk.
Għallimna dejjem iżjed
Ta' uliedek inħobbuk."

I was going around the different groups of people, sometimes putting my arms around the shoulders of one of the guests in the groups, inviting them to sing along. Most of the ones who sang along with me were the ones who were as drunk as I was.

the end

Dreamt on the night of 03.03.2006

The night before:
Food: Rice with salmon, chilli & lemon.
Drink: Shiraz

Iraqi Soldiers

I was sent to Iraq to fight in the war. I found myself in an empty room wearing nothing but pjamas. The room didn’t have any furniture or decorations. It’s surfaces were made of light blue-grey steel. It looked very clean and clinical.

One of the walls had three round windows, like portholes of a ship (maybe I was on a ship?). I was ordered to go through one of the windows to fight the Iraqi soldiers on the other side. I climbed through the window and found myself at the end of a very long hall. The hall was so long that I couldn’t see the other end. The surfaces of this hall were made out of the same material as the previous room.

This hall was not empty - it contained a row of bunk beds, identical in shape and size, of the same light blue-grey colour as the walls of the hall. These bunk beds were arranged in a queue that dotted through the center of the hall. This straight line of bunk beds went all the way down the other side of the hall as far as my eyes could see. There were no mattresses on these empty bunk beds. Again, everything looked extremely clean. It felt as if I was in some sort of laboratory.

I was not alone in this hall. Behind every two or three beds was an Iraqi soldier. The Iraqi soldiers were all wearing pjamas like me and they all had a black beard. They looked very thin and scruffy. No one had any guns or armour. My only weapon was a screwdriver. I walked down the hall, killing any soldier that came in my way. I pierced their heads with my screwdriver, most of the time stabbing them at the side of their heads. They all fell to the floor, one by one.

At some point I stopped. I started feeling afraid and ashamed. I retreated to the portholes and climbed back into the first room.

the end

Dreamt on the night of 01.03.2006

The night before:
Food: Spring rolls and rice with sundried tomatoes and garlic sausages.
Drink: Water